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C  H  A  O  T  I  K  A
1983 † 2007


Cyndi Chaotika ©Justie Howard

If you want to hear this angels voice put your ear to the sky and your lips to the ground. Come taste, come and taste the sweet bitter cry of the beauty that was this sweet lost angel. She fell from heaven to earth and now returns to her beginnings.

Cut you open and spill but one drop of that which flows like wine. That which sustains us, that which changes us, that which burns before us like liquid, like pure fire. Breathe deep the smoke and scent of black death, black coral, black diamond, black onyx, black opals, black night, black heaven, black hell, black rage, black rain, black Jesus. Inhale the fragrance of the nightingales as they dance the dance of tears and pain that find us pounding our fists quietly against our hearts. Against the gray matter of our brains as our skulls swell and split open. Like the tide crashing against the cliffs, thrashing to and fro and taking back what belonged to we but for a moment and now returns to the sea of the howling wind broken on its knees. Weeping, we peer through the shadow of bones and dark passages breaking the outer layer of the sphere. There where there is extension, transition, and redemption for some and then none for others. We are wondering side by side with the envoys and the transporters. They come our way again and again they are the fishers of souls casting their nets as we sleep. They are the keepers of the watch they are the internuncios. They passed this way and took her with them, took her soul, took her to that place too far away, to that place of never coming back again, to the unknown realm, to that place of final breath, to that place of death, to that place of final rest.

I hope that Cyndi found her way to real peace. When remembering Cyndi, lend your sorrows to celebrate her gracious being and her short visit with us here on this plane. I pray that you are not drowning in a pool of guilt over what happened. It was a great tragedy, she was so young, vibrant, brilliant, kind, giving and beautiful. But please know that there are some things in life that are beyond our control and pre-destined. Birth and death are among two of the many things that we cannot control, although we do try to, it is impossible. The method by which Cyndi took her last breath was not pre-determined but I do believe that the moment of Cindy's passing was. I am grateful and thankful for being blessed with the pleasure of knowing Cyndi, even if it was for such a short measure of earthly time. I was so captivated by her and her spirit. I fell so damn hard for you Cyndi that I crushed every bone in my body! God rest your soul, you are in my heart always and will not ever be forgotten.

Raven Charmer –Petra Maricela Thompson Violetarojo



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